February 2012
12 posts
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So that's where durians come from
Ok, so we were too, too excited about finding stuff growing on our tree, which according to Zedeck only flowered ONCE during the 10 years he lived here.
We jumped the gun. The mystery things were not fruit, they were in fact buds of flowers! And as of today are in the process of blooming. We are not familiar with the sex lives of trees, but apparently flowers means they are ripe for...
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Hark! A snake
Encounters with fauna continue at Lot 1699.
Couple of weeks ago, we found the cats ganging up on a snake in the shed. Damn murderers were lucky it was a harmless tree snake. Nanti bagi lu black cobra baru tau!
I’m not big on snakes (in fact I’ve been dreading finding one in the house), but look! It is very pretty.
It had this amazing subtle metallic gold-green sheen, like...
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Battle squares are drawn
We’ve been away from home for about a week. In the meantime, the wonderful Grace Chin dreamed in our beds, watered the plants, fed the cats, and even blogged our blog.
I realize that sometimes when I say ‘home’, what I really mean is our whole life here. More or less the same routine of trying to get up before the school next door starts its batshit mind-control on the...
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CONTEST: Guess The Fruit, Win A Prize!
So, only this weekend we noticed that one of our trees had been flowering.
These are its young fruit. The ones that can’t make it are falling off. Such is nature’s way.
They’ve budded in bunches, like so:
Now, the golden question: what the hell are they? Eh? EH?
Bet you don’t know. (Come on. Got picture of leaves and all. Google la.)
First three (3) people to...
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GROWGROW! - a belated celebration of Zedeck Siew's...
For the past 26 years, Zedeck Siew has tried to enter into that most rarified class: adulthood. He has shaved his legs, taken sides in pointless conflicts, missed deadlines, put on eyeliner, and mended fences. He’s tried and tried. Yet always he has encountered failure.
Throughout this epic (fail) quest, you, his faithful friend, have shown patience and forbearance: not laughing too...
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Grace Chin: Housesitter
I was at Lot 1699 for a few days while Zedeck & Sharon were away.
Their home is spacious and airy, it was ideal for writing / working without any interruptions. I didn’t have time to visit the beach (!) but it was good to visit eating places where people recognised me, ie. didn’t stare or think of me as an oddball … heh.
I can’t write much for the rest of today...
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Old People 2
On Saturday afternoon I took an MRT to Tiong Bahru. Alfian Sa’at, playwright yang femes (and possible member of Perkasa, cawangan Singapura), had given in to my pestering and agreed to be my guide for the day. I waited for him at Tiong Bahru Plaza, the MRT station’s associated mall.
At the entrance, besides the sorry-looking smokers, where several sorry-looking elderly people, plying...
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Old People 1
Am currently in Singapore, for Laneway — well, for Feist. This musical pilgrimage is meant to last me for the rest of the year.
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Came down at the start of the weekend. Putting up with Norman Teh (of Poskod.sg, which seems to be doing good work) in Serangoon Gardens, a middle-class neighbourhood built in the 1950s with handsome 1950s-style terrace houses.
The house in which Norman rents...
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January 2012
10 posts
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Presumptions
Yesterday I visited the friendly neighbourhood 7-Eleven to acquire milk and bread. The clerk recognised me. She usually gave me a friendly ribbing about wearing sarungs in public.
“Kenapa pakai kain?” she’d ask.
(She recently started wearing a tudung, in-store; she mentioned a husband previously, so I presumed he was the reason for it.)
This time she asked me about my...
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Pesta Belakang Sekolah: Pagar
We spent Saturday morning reinforcing our backyard fence: adding a foot-and-half of wire, patching up holes, and laying bricks along the bottom, making a dog-proof barrier. Hopefully this will keep those strays from the school out during Chinese New Year, and our darling cats (of which there are only two left, sadface) safe.
Also, Fence 2.0 is designed to provide Lot 1699 with less of a...
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En. Raman and Skillz
There was a time (not so) long ago… when people didn’t have sms or cellphones or data devices or blogs or social networking… AND IT WAS HELL, especially when you lost the scrap of paper you had written the gardener’s number on. And the garden was growing crazier by the day, and it was stressful, and you had NO GARDENER because you lost the fucking scrap of paper.
I told...
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The Mysterious Musang King
We have very interesting fauna at Lot1699.
The Musang King is a regular visitor. I think he’s found a permanent food source from the nangka tree in our front yard - which JUST WON’T STOP FRUITING. Everyday I look up at that tree in despair and implore it to STOP BREEDING. The universe cannot deal with so much jackfruit. People would be farting all the time. Not to mention harvesting...
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New Year Idea: Zedeck Cooks
A McDonald’s opened in PD last month; a Domino’s too.
In protest, I have resolved to cook more this year. Witness: pasta sauce!
Well, I didn’t make it, not really. It was mostly Sharon’s doing; I merely helped her cut the veggies and stir stuff in the pan. So, kitchen assistant la.
(By the way, stirring stuff in a pan — that’s the bit I find the most...
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New Year Idea: Pesta Belakang Sekolah
Lot 1699 spent the New Year weekend knocking back mojitos with Grace Chin and Ooi Ying Nee; we swapped stories, played Uno, and discussed a myriad of madcap schemes for 2012.
Then someone looked through our backyard and into the school beyond, echoey-empty and infested with wild dogs, and said: “Remember secondary school?”
“Eiyer,” said we, shivering from metaphorical...
December 2011
18 posts
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2012
Seen on the KTM Komuter, between KL and Seremban:
A pudgy young fellow in a dark-green collared T-shirt, falling asleep while holding a hardcover book. The cover, in gold letters, reads:
REMOVAL OF HYDROGEN SULFIDE BY PHYSICO-BIOLOGICAL FILTRATION USING DRIED ACTIVATED SLUDGE AND RICE HUSK SILICA
SEYED MUHAMAD MENDINA CHOUBI DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY UNIVERSITI PUTRA MALAYSIA
APRIL 2011
Whether...
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Prospero is Missing
This is the latest photo I have of her. Prospero never really photographed well, because she was fidgety: a quick terror with a penchant for bird-catching.
I came home after the Christmas weekend to find her absent — which was unusual, since she’s the one who sticks closest to the food bowl.
She’s been gone for four days, now. Maybe she was catnapped. Or lost a fight with the...
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Festive greetings from our fauna!
We were visited by a lone firefly yesterday night. We decoded his flickering butt and he told us to tell you Merry Christmas and Happy fucking New Year, you beautiful stupid humans!
It’s true. Watch the video:
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The Lot 1699 Variety Show!
(The miniscule readership of this blog should consider itself invited.)
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Now with 100% MORE ILLEGALITY, COMMODORE CHIN & SEAMAN SIEW respectfully invite their gentle-friends to:
THE LOT 1699 VARIETY SHOW! A Party Near The Sea
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SATURDAY, 17 December 2011 5PM and onwards to dawn
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at Lot 1699, Jalan Toh Kee Kah 71000 Port Dickson Negeri Sembilan Darul Khusus (naturally)
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in...
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Directions to the Lot 1699 Variety Show
So you have heeded Lord Nelson’s call to attend the Lot 1699 Variety Show. Excellent.
Now all you need are directions:
GETTING TO THE LOT 1699 VARIETY SHOW (BY CAR) 21 steps to the best party of 2011, Approx 1hour30mins
Cruise south on the North-South Expressway, heading towards Seremban. Pass Nilai and Seremban.
Turn off at Exit 219, Port Dickson.
After the toll (RM7.70 coming from...
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Nonsense
So, I’ve got a story published in this weekend’s edition of that community-level-newspaper-for-a-state-in-which-I-used-to-live-but-no-longer, Selangor Times. Yay! They are a cool outfit, the ST people: they’ve had a fiction section since they started a year ago — a remarkable feat of consistency.
Go read via this finely-crafted clickable.
Old-hand readers of the blog...
November 2011
6 posts
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Dream a little dream of Faye
Couple of weeks ago (right when the controversy about Seksualiti Merdeka started), me and Jun Kit were the benefactors of two VIP tickets to see Faye Wong in concert at Bukit Jalil.
Sitting beside Jun Kit and screaming like love-struck dreamers throughout the night is one of the huge memories of 2011. Faye is truly one of a kind - her crowd banter was a grand total of FOUR ‘thank...
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He seemed at home. I hope he stays.
There’s no denying the blog has been lagging lately. Not that there hasn’t been alot going on. I think I’m in some tech transition stage - learning some new tricks, but mostly trying to figure out what kind of relationship I want with the internets. I’ve come to the conclusion that Facebook is eating my life, and you know it’s terminal when you start idly googling...
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There is a kingdom
So by now you’ve probably heard about the ban on Seksualiti Merdeka festival. There’s been fuck loads of media noise surrounding it, which is great and necessary, but I think it’s reached that saturation point where the sheer load of information + comments + rants + rage + passion can drive people nuts and make them tune out.
A friend posted this update today which pretty much...
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The Travails of Lord Nelson, Flag Officer in His...
Lord Nelson: England expects that every man will do his duty!
Lord Nelson: Signal lieutenant, hold fast! Oh, kiss me, Hardy — I espy kibble!
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October 2011
4 posts
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I Read Where I Am
After a weekend of productive, blissful isolation, this evening I decided to venture into the outside world. Here’s what I found:
the headlines for Sinar Harian, which read “Sejuta perangi murtad”, about a rally (planned for 22 Oct) against “penyebaran ajaran Kristian kepada Melayu khususnya beragama Islam”;
TV3’s Buletin Utama, which was essentially a...
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Promises
Remember that skeleton I found and promised to send to the person who wanted it?
Well that mutherfucker has been sitting on my table for months and months. I finally packed him up in soft cotton and an old lens filter case.
You will get him soon, dear promised person.
I’m still in limbo land, cleaning, clearing and sorting stuff out in the house (and in my head). Also, finally getting...
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